Thursday, February 19, 2009

Is That What Happened?

I think I figured it out! You know the Richard Simmons sit down wheel chair exercise DVD I have? Well I was working out with it last week. Some of the foot and leg exercises I wasn't doing because of the chair I was sitting in and not having the room to move around like he and the others were. So I just did simple heel and toe lifts. Over and over and over again throughout the maybe 15 minutes I was working out. I know I wasn't working out hard or for very long because I was starting out slow. But, as I continue to put ice on my injured foot and ankle, and as the swelling and pain ease out because of the ice, there is one major pain that continues. That is in my Achilles heel tendon. It hurts! It snaps! And as the ankle and foot start warming up again, or as I put my foot back into the wonderful moon boot, all kinds of muscle spasms begin. And they almost all seem to originate from the back of my heel towards the outside back of my ankle which is where the core of all the pain has been from the beginning.

So, is that what happened? Do I have a work-out injury? Over simple heel and toe lifts that did not even hurt when I was doing them? Is this the result of being that badly (and sadly) out of shape? I just cannot believe that something that easy caused this much drama and pain. I have always been so strong and active, even if I couldn't do all the same things everyone else seemed to be able to do so easily. It really stinks to feel so weak right now. But through weakness, God shows His Strength. Without Him I could not hold up or keep trying to make everything work out. This is another of those times that I am learning what I can and cannot do. And also learning to accept and deal with my limitations. With each limitation comes a way of handling it in a new and different way.

Hey, Lord? Would it be okay if for awhile life just go on without all this extra drama and the tests? Thank You for being with me all the time anyway. Wouldn't be here without You.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Baby Steps For Valentine's Day

First of all, let me say I am sorry I have not been posting very much here lately. It's still hard to think about what to say but it is getting better. It's been 8 months since life was turned upside down for my daughter, her son, and the rest of us. There is some semblance of normalcy but that is all it is a new normal. Normal has changed. I did a lot of posting at but I am not posting there anymore. It helped to post the trivial stuff there just to keep me writing even though it wasn't of anything really important or blog-worthy.

There have been some change in my life since I last posted here. In the first week of November I ended up with at least one stress fracture in my right foot not far from my ankle. It put me out of contact with the outside world for a few weeks. Along with that, my car seems to be having its own issues which include a tire that needs replaced due to constantly leaking air, and possible transmission problems. If I find out the transmission needs replaced, the car is going bye-bye from my possession. So with the foot problem and the car problem, I haven't been out of the house more than 5 times all winter....until today!

For the past 2-4 days I have been having foot and ankle pain in my left foot and ankle. More in the ankle than in the foot, but it would spread whenever I got up to walk. Not wanting to end up where I was back in November, I thought about what worked back then. I got my crutches and I wrapped up my foot and tried my best to stay off of it as much as possible. It didn't work. It just kept getting worse until today I gave up the fight and had my son drive me to the ER. My Valentine's Day night out was at the hospital, and my gift (which was not given to me free by the way) was another moon boot...those big, bulky, heavy weight foam and velcro walking fracture boots. Now I have a matched set. I thought they came in rights and lefts so I didn't even bother trying the old one I got back in November or I could have saved the cost. But, with my feet the way they have been, I might end up needing both. Oh what a sight that would be!!! Oh, and the wonderful concoction for the romantic evening....not wine....not champaign....not the old strawberry daiquiri's I used to love. Nope. A large Sprite from MacDonald's to wash down a generic vicodin.

One thing this trip to the hospital got me besides the medication to take the edge of the pain off...the doctor has decided I need to get physical therapy on my feet and ankles to strengthen them. This is something I have had to do in the past due to a sprained ankle that never healed correctly. Oh these wonderful crooked legs and all the sprained ankles I have had over the years. But never have I ever had one that didn't get caused by being twisted and falling down. Thank God for that blessing. I don't know how I could handle falling down at this age and size and physical condition. You might have to check to see if I cracked the earth!

As much as I remember physical therapy hurts, I know it is something that I need and with it being ordered by the doctor, I can get it now and get it paid for. Oh yes, and that brings me to the other big change of the winter...I am now retired! Yes! I gave up on the call center job that was stressing me out so badly. With all the other stress I have to deal with daily, I just didn't need that in my life anymore. With the recent raise of the social security, it raised me up to the level I needed to be at to be able to meet my expenses without having the extra income. However, I do not expect to not have any other income at all. I am looking into various avenues, all of which would be of benefit to me, with the ability to control my own hours and income, rather than having the number of hours being dictated to me as a company minimum. There minimum was too much and put me in an income bracket that left me out of good medical care which, as you can see, is important to me.

Other baby steps over the winter have included getting busy again with getting active even though I don't get outside much. Keeping some kind of movement going whenever it crosses my mind, which can be quite often, is something good for me. The Richard Simmons DVD for wheel chair and sit down aerobics is back in the DVD player. It lay in its case sadly awaiting for me to get back to using the exercises. I was just too physically and mentally exhausted when I was working to do the program. Thinking about it, maybe I overdid some of the foot and leg movements and thereby brought on this current injury by that. I can see it happening. Well, it looks like the physical therapy I am going to be getting soon will take care of the leg and foot exercises. I am still going to keep working on the rest of it.

The other area of my life that is currently in the baby step phase is the organization of all my craft and sewing items as well as all the other stuff I have managed to gather together over the past few years since I had to start over again. Thanks to some storage items on sale at I now have just what I need to get things in order. Unfortunately, I have somehow boxed myself out of the area I need to reach....LOL. Ever hear of not mopping or not painting yourself into a corner? Well I have done the opposite. I have placed the items I am sorting through and the storage containers in the wrong location so that I cannot now get back to the area where I want them to be placed once they are filled! I have some thinking and rearranging to do.

So right when I am so excited about these two areas of attention--the increase in exercise, and the organizing of my home--I end up with this injury. I get so tired of having to wait to get something accomplished I want to work on. Hopefully, in a few days, with the help of the pain meds and the lovely boot (did I say lovely?) I will feel able to work on things while keeping both my feet firmly planted on the floor. It is hard to do these things while keeping a sore foot elevated. Thank God for this recliner. I don't know what I would do without it. Although I am focusing on ways to get myself out of it more often so that I am more active.

I am looking forward to the physical therapy. I am hoping that it will indeed strengthen my feet and ankles, and maybe even my leg muscles. I have lost so much over the past few years from being sick.

Like I have said before--just because something happens that looks bad, or feels bad, doesn't mean it is bad. It might be needed to lead to something better. I don't think I could have gotten the physical therapy without a doctor's order. And how would I have gotten the doctor's order? It took the second injury for the doctor to decide there is a problem that needs addressed. Oh, but does it have to hurt so much?????