Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Resting in this Valley

It's one of those night storms where everything is pretty quiet except for the occasional rumble of thunder and splash of lightening across the sky.  It's autumn and the leaves have been falling rapidly.  This rain will probably wash most of what's left to the ground.  In my yard the squirrels have been busy getting all the walnuts they can hidden before the snow comes.  Only a few are left hanging on the bare tree limbs.
This seems like a really good opening paragraph for a short story or something.  Ha, but my mind is blank about what could come next.  I'm here awake after only sleeping a couple hours and my mind is filled with thoughts I would like to put to rest at least for awhile.  But even when I am asleep, the thoughts continue to race through in the form of dreams that don't often make any sense or have any seeming connection to those thoughts that wrestle in my mind during waking hours.  A friend of mine uses the word "conflicted" sometimes when she talks about my dreams and my thoughts.  I think she is right.  I wonder if we all aren't at least a bit conflicted in this world we live in, each of us trying to make sense of what is going on around us from day to day.  Each of us has our own unique battles we face each day.  Mine seem like insurmountable mountains lately.  I was heading in a certain, definite direction there for awhile and things were going well.  Maybe this is what life is for all of us.  We only get limited amounts of time traveling life's road on the level ground until we find ourselves faced with yet another mountain to climb or river to cross.  I don't know what is on the other side of this particular mountain.  Then again, I don't know if we ever know what is on the other side.  What we do know is that we just have to keep going, one step at a time, one day at a time.  THIS mountain at THIS time, however, has me blocked.  Maybe I am trying to decide whether to climb it or go around it.  Climbing seems way too difficult right now.  Going around seems way too long a journey.  Maybe, just maybe, this mountain wasn't meant to pass, at least not yet.  Maybe this mountain was meant to get me to stop awhile and rest.
The storm has stopped outside.  All is quiet again.  I'm feeling sleepy again.  Maybe pushing forward isn't the goal I am supposed to try for right now.  For tonight, I will give this some thought.  Rest.  What kind of dreams might come from quiet thoughts about rest?  I'm almost looking forward to finding out.

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