Thursday, September 20, 2012

Baby Boomers

Tonight I'm wanting to talk about Baby Boomers.  Hey that's me too.  I got in on the tail end of the Boom Line when I was born way back there in the mid-fifties.

First tonight I want to share with you all a neat (we said "neat" in our day) website about Baby Boomer-ettes...that's us lady boomers.  It's called The Feisty Side of Fifty and I just love that title.  The first article I read on the site today is about whether or not any of us ladies are suffering from AAADD.  Now what's AAADD, you ask?  It's Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder and the website has an article explaining all about AAADD that I believe you will enjoy reading.

The other thing I want to talk about tonight is about a friend of mine who has been totally screwed over (yes we boomers say that too) by her daughter and her mother, although I believe it was more the daughter than anything else.  This friend of mine is one year shy of being able to collect her Social Security benefits.  For most of her life she has spent it taking care of her son who had Muscular Dystrophy and passed away at the age of 20.  During that time she also cared for her grown daughter's children when the daughter was unable to do so.  After my friend's son passed away, my friend continued to care for the other kids as well as help her aging mother.  Having been so busy taking care of everyone else in her life, she didn't really have time to make a life of her own outside of her home and family.  Eventually her daughter was able to take care of her own children again and moved them all several hours drive away from her mother and grandmother.  In July the grandmother turned 96 years old.  She, herself was still quite feisty from what I knew of her.  My friend turned 64 yesterday.  So here is what I want to discuss now that you have the back story.  The past several weeks, my friend's mother has not been feeling so well after having a fall.  She didn't break anything but she didn't really complain too much of anything being wrong.  My friend has stated many times over the past couple of years that her mother did not like doctors and would never agree to go see a doctor about anything.  Well a couple weeks ago she surprised my friend by asking her to get her to the hospital because she did not feel right.  So my friend got the ambulance and off they went.  After some time and tests, the doctors determined that my friend's mother had several medical issue but the most pressing one was a skin cancer. My friend had pushed her mother to go get it checked but she always refused.  As it turned out, the tumor was the size of a tennis ball when it was removed the other day.  Skin grafting surgery was also performed a few days later.  During all this time, my friend, who has no transportation or money for bus or taxi, has not been able to visit her mom.  Her daughter made a trip to visit after being away for 6 years and suddenly decides that she is going to take over grandma's care by whisking her over 4 hours away instead of keeping her there in town where she has been living.  She manipulated the mother in her poor medical state to agree and together, in the process of making this move, have left my friend totally out in the cold, so to speak, without income, job, to be possibly homeless in the very near future, and now without her family.  The way this young woman has treated her mother has been despicable to say the least.  There are so many things I could say at this point, so many details I could talk about here, but none of that will serve the purpose.  Just know that the whole situation is bad and the daughter and mother have behaved in a totally heartless manner.  My friend was half-heartedly invited to go with them and live with the daughter, but after the abusive way the daughter talked to my friend, she has no intention of going.

So here we have a 64 year old woman who can take care of herself, but it sure would have been a lot more decent thing to do to give her more time so she could get closer to getting her Social Security.  This lady has had jobs before but mostly before her son was born.  After that she has spent the rest of her life taking care of her son, her daughter's children, and her aging mother.  We have spent the past few days going over every possible thing we can find where she might be able to get help while she goes out and finds work.  Her landlord is being very helpful and caring as he knows she and her mother were very good tenants so he is going to give her time to get on her feet.  Those of us who care about my friend are just in shock and trying to deal in our own minds how a daughter can do such a thing.  We do have our ideas but I won't say what those are right here and now.  This daughter has put the grandmother into danger by insisting she make the over 4 hour trip so soon after her surgeries and ended up having to take her by car as the ambulance transport cost too much.  Imagine, a 96 year old woman who just came through cancer surgery and skin graft surgery being forced to ride in a car for over 4 hours.  The daughter refused to even take her grandmother's clothing, purse, or any other personal belongings with them and told her mom she would not be coming back but that she was welcome to come up there and live.  There are good reasons not to go up there to live, with the basic one being that there is no room in the small apartment along with all the other people who live there.  After the way the daughter treated my friend, she said there is no way she will ever go live with her now.

What is happening to people today?  I know the Bible predicts that in the Last Days, people would be rising up against each other in anger and fighting, but whenever I see it happen, it just shocks me.  As hard as it can be to find a job at 50 or 55, think of how difficult it might be for someone who is 64 and doesn't have much of a work history to fall back on because she spent her life doing the right thing taking care of her family.  Then her family turns their backs on her like this.  Finding any services available to her is difficult as well.  It's going to be a rough road for her this next year plus.  But she has one thing going for her besides her landlord being willing to work with her.  If she can't make it where she is, she is welcome to come stay with me and start over here.  I just can't see a friend of mine end up in the street, especially at her age.

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